Back with a BANG! …and without bangs. Almost – at least – since I‘m currently growing them out. I‘m all about New Year, New Look, Old Me. The latter because 2017‘s „New Me“ didn‘t work out very well and whilst my creative fire was unleashed for the most parts of that bygone year – keeping me from studying for exams – personally, I wasn‘t satisfied with the person I had turned in.
Old habits and thinking patterns I thought I had cast off years ago, suddenly returned and re-morphed me into a self-questioning, -comparing person I couldn‘t and didn‘t want to identify with. So for me, 2017 has been one big war between the person I‘d become and the person I wanted to be (again).
“Work hard in Silence”
As far as 2017 is concerned, that has definitely been that year’s unintended motto. I started into the year the way I always do it: Without any half-hearted New Year‘s resolutions. Progressing into the year, I got to work on a handful of more time consuming creative projects (see the music video for Alicja Mroczka that I styled and co-directed, for example). I quickly realized I wouldn‘t be able to share anything of satisfying quality on here if I continued collaborating on projects with others. But at the same time I felt the amount of knowledge growing with every project, may it have been styling-, photography-, modeling-related or whatsoever. With summer nearing I settled for my Laryconic-detox and began focusing less on putting out work and more on putting in work. As in pouring work and the experience I had gained into projects of my own. My photography and editing skills had improved majorly and sewing-wise I strived for quality rather than quantity or velocity of finishing designs. Continuing working that way I temporarily lost interest in posting, knowing I didn‘t want to quit it forever but being aware of needing a break to immerse in the craft. I was sick of half-hearted posts that felt forced and felt stuck. As much freedom as social media may grant as a platform to share what you love, it can also make you feel enchained. Enchained to posting times or patterns, enchained to keeping a style because of it‘s branding value, at times even enchained to yourself. But to evolve we need to break these chains from time to time and step out of the game in order to be able to come back with a different one – a better game, a more passionate approach, more honest content. In short: I upped my game of professionalism. Thus the website redesign.
“Say yes to new adventures”
After all, 2017 brought one good thing with it: Change. And even though I might have lost myself to change for a very long time period, I found myself stronger, more focused and more creative than ever – changed – in the end. In a way, I‘m more open-minded than before but also capable of telling what I want from what I don‘t want and what I like from what I don‘t like. I‘m not afraid of telling the truth as cruel as it may be, in fact, honesty has shown to be the virtue I value the most in myself and in others. What‘s changed is also my signature style as I‘ve started to evolve from it, looking at it rather as a foundation than a dictation. This past year, I experimented with various kinds of makeup styles, not limiting myself to eyeliner only but venturing into eyeshadow, lipstick and glossy lids. At times even my hair got glossy, when I decided to wear it slicked back, which finally led me to the recent decision of growing out not only my hair but my bangs as well. Which are basically the signature of my signature style. I‘ll keep ‘em at heart. In a sense, I feel like I have to become a canvas for a while. Or maybe less of a bland canvas than more available to shape shifting, finally being the chameleon I’ve always wanted to be and open myself for future change. Now, one might say they can‘t recognize any changes based on the pictures. Well, guess what, I just chose them so I could make the pun in the beginning. My humor obviously hasn‘t changed much.
I‘m going to dedicate this year to my one true love: Fashion! (Cue: Lady Gaga reference) And I look forward to wherever this creative one-man show will take me.
Kenzo x HM gloves. COS dress and belt.
Photography / Styling / Creative Direction / Modeling